My Lovestory With Life Page 2

   

  Tada!!!

  Leaving you at my doorstep, she left,

  I welcomed you with a silent smile,

  Somehow not believing, things could turn again,

  That I could be happy again,

  But you, gal, had the power to change it all,

  You turned on the lights,

  And the room was lit,

  My life was lit,

  Reality becoming too good to be real-touchwood,

  Making me wonder, how more perfect could a person

  get,

  As if handcrafted by God,

  With every virtue up to the brim,

   

  Every time you smiled, it was divine,

  Every time you held my hand, I was complete,

  And every time you laughed,

  I could hear the cackle of a baby,

   

  Pure, innocent yet perfect.

   

  Rising in love with you was only natural,

  I was in love with you,

  Before I knew I was,Every moment we talked,

  Special and memorable,You became so much a part of

  me,

  Waiting for that one call in the day,

  When we would share anything and everything.

  Hearing my name in your voice,

  That feels so good,

  I don't want to hear anything else in the world, 

  All these times we tease each other,

  All these times we can't put down the phone,

  And enjoy the silence,

  Just coz I know, it’s you on the other side (and vice

  versa)

  It feels like home,

  And if they say, home lies where the heart is,

  You are my home.

   

  My beautiful love, my lovely partner,

  My greatest friend,

  My cute lil bachha,

   

  I love you

   

  I could keep on going on writing,

  But I would never be satisfied,

  Coz no words are beautiful enough,

  To contain your beauty and my (our) love,

  I love you. I do.

  *****

  The Black Flower

  I thought you loved me,

  I always did,

  You had convinced me so,

  But now,

  As much as I try,

  I cannot convince myself again,

  But you, take it from me,

  I had loved you,

  Maybe I still love you,

  I had fallen into love,

  I had committed an entire life to you,

  And you knew it all the way,

  I don’t know what to say,

  My heart still believes in that innocent smile of yours,

  It still believes in those dreams we dreamt together,

  It still believes in the truth of your eyes,

  Wants to believe that everything'll be alright,

  That you loved me and that,

  It was no fault of yours,

  Never wants to say a word against you,

  Again that’s how deeply I love/d you,

  ,

  (i don’t know which one applies, though I wish the latter did),

  I wish you hadn't chosen me for the prank,

  I wish I forget everything as easily as you did,

  And here I was, thinking that you'll be faring worse than I was,

  Funny, isn't it?

   

  But still I cry,

  I still shed tears,

  Simply in the timeless memory,

  Of the beautiful times you gave me,

  Yeah I had lived an entire life in those six months,

  I cannot deny,

   

  But didn't we promise to spend our entire lives,

  Together?

  Those dreams? Those promises?

  That feel of your hand against mine that completed me?

  I thought, we meant them,

  You did mention about our uncertain future,

  And I had promised to take care of it all,

  Alas, I was never even given a chance,

  Maybe I still have a few regrets,

  A few unrealized plans,

  I had never thought, my sincere love,

  Deserted such a ruthless, abrupt end,

  Where I wasn't even granted our one last talk,

  Yeah I regret a lot of it,

  I had seen a perfect partner in you,

  They say I’m acting stupid,

  My head does say it’s time to move on,

  The heart questions, Can you really?

  Tell me how do I forget you,

  Who's connected to every little element, every breath

  of mine,

  I don’t know what lies ahead for me,

  The show called life must go on,

  I guess I should just believe in him and go on,

  Go on, not move on,

  That might take some time,

  But I won't stop,

  Though I still repeat,

  It should not have happened,

  Right when I had barely

  Learnt to live without someone,

  You came, stayed and then left me with a fresh new

  wound,

  Anyways that’s all for me, you have a good life ahead,

  You're a good person.

  I can't say I love you anymore,

  But I do have residual love for you in my heart,

  That’s all I can say,

  Take care...

  *****

  The Dream

  Hold my hand,

  Take me into your arms,

  Steal me away from this world...

   

  Steal me away,

  Into a world meant for us,

  Into a world sans boundaries,

  Into a world of emotions,

  Where our togetherness isn't questioned,

  Where there ain't barriers to our love,

   

  A place so divine, our home.....

   

  Where you be greeted by the first ray of sun, every

  morning,

  And then my angel smiles, "Good morning",

  How I wish I could pause the time,

  And savor the moment,

  Dressed in the white night suit,

  You look nothing less than my baby princess,

  And then we sit in the porch,

  Sipping our coffee and watching the onset of a new

  day,

  A new beginning...

   

  And that’s how we start every day, together...

   

  Steal me away,

  To where there's only you and me,

  Where every evening is our first date,

  And then a walk over the beach,

  Barefoot, hands together, Fingers interlocked,

  The stars above smiling over us,

  The loud waves singing only for us,

  Midway I stop, I look into your eyes,

   

  Your face angelic, under the soft moonlight,

  You shy away, lowering your eyelids,

  Making me want to kiss them right away,

  A hint of smile on your face,

  And I say it again, "I love you, You're the greatest gift

  of my life"

  "I love you too"

  We walk back,

  Your head on my shoulders,

  It feels divine and exotic,

  This feeling of both of us together...

  Goodnight love...

   

  And this is how we end every night, together...

   

  So this is how it is,

  The dream, my dream, our dream,

  We shall make it happen,

  For all I know, life is good, when you're around,

  For you're the sole reason for my existence,


  All I ever need is you, My sunshine, My princess, My

  angel,

  Though I write this,

  But no words can ever contain my love,

  And all I can say, is I love you....

  *****

  Love?? Really?

  You say you love me,

  But do you really?

  Do you?

  The way you say it,

  How can I deny?

  I know what it is to be abandoned in love...

  But love?? Really?

  Do you realize,

  You talk to a heart,

  That was smashed in love some while ago,

  And shattered into a million pieces,

  Each of them abandoned by this world,

  Yes, I’m ready to move on with life,

  Who doesn't want love in his life?

  Who doesn't want to give love another chance?

  But if only this fear could let go of me,

  The fear, she left me with,

  She who taught me, love hurts,

  That every bit of it hurts,

  And how on earth are you supposed to understand,

  That I. . . . . still love her,

  Like the beautiful remnants of great civilizations,

  Like the dying flames of huge fires,

  Like some ancient mysteries that remain,

  Unreasonable, unjustifiable,

  Yeah I realize,

  It is god's bliss to have someone love you,

  But love?? Really?

  Do you really think I’m the one?

  I know not, what to say,

  But will you be there for me,

  When I’ve lost everything?

  Will you hold my hand,

  And intertwine our fingers making me feel cared for?

  Will I be able to look into your eyes,

  And find the same love gleaming?

  Will you love me for what I am,

  And not for what you think I am?

  Will you be able to tolerate my worst tempers,

  And yet love me?

  Will you be the shoulder,

  When I want to cry out the pain?

  Will you pamper me like a li'l kid,

  When I want to be treated like one,

  Will you be my best friend for life?

  No, I’m not putting any conditions to your love,

  But I’m scared, I don't know, what to say,

  You say, you love me,

  But do you really?

  Love?? Really?

  *****

  The Story So Far

  As I stand here,

  Silently at the eighteenth milestone of my life,

  And look back at the trail behind me,

  I have grown up,

  Strangely, I have indeed,

   

  From the boy of yesterday,

  To the lad of today,

  Life has changed, Times have changed, People have changed,

  And yeah I have changed...

  But this isn't how I wanted it to be,

  I was never what I am today...

   

  On one of the chilly mornings of March '99,

  With the sun still sleeping,

  A little kid is woken up by his mother,

  "Bah!! School again" he says,

  He goes to school, into his second family,

  His friends, and a large one at that,

  And, they do what they are expected to do,

  They play all day, they run about in the corridors,

  And indeed have a blast of a time,

  And what’s new about it?

  It happens daily....

  Loving and living every bit, every moment of life,

  Our hero cries for lost erasers,

  And on teacher's scoldings...

  He's scared of his mother, when he hasn't scored atleast 9 on 10...

   

  But, he's happy,

  His heart is clean of hate,

  He's shy yet confident,

  A complete extrovert,

  Wouldn't keep a thing in his stomach,

  That’s how it all used to be....

   

  And then times changed, people changed,

  And he changed.

  And he was given better reasons to cry, than lost erasers,

  "But things don't go this bad,

  Atleast they didn't in my fairytales"

  "Ha dude, life is no fairyland,

  this is how life is"

   

  People say I’m too pessimistic about life,

  I just feel I’ve observed life silently,

  And all I know is,

  You are what your times are,

  Your times change, you change,

  Nothing stays, feelings, friendships, love....

  Trusting people seems an impossible feat...

   

  They say I’m addicted to pain,

  And I’m addicted to loneliness,

  Well when the pain surpasses all boundaries,

  It just dies out, leaving behind,

  A strange relief, a trance,

  At the bottom of the ocean,

  There is trance,

  You aren't drowning anymore,

  You're just calm and accept it,

  And that is where I am,

  Sitting comfy at the bottom of the ocean...

  They say I’m childish,

  Come on people,

  I’m not childish,

  I’m a child, the hero (at the heart though)...

   

  Times have changed,

  People have changed,

  And I too have changed....

  *****

  Meetings

  Stop holding me back,

  Just let me go,

  Please don't show me your face again,

  I just wanna go,

  Every time I see you,

  It becomes all the tougher for me,

  To convince myself

  That it’s over,

  That I’ve moved on,

  So please stay away from my sight,

  And allow me to re-live my life~

   

  Every time I see you,

  I go blank in head,

  The million things I wanna say to you,

  The million questions I wish to ask you,

  All erupting all at once,

  Why did you have to do it?

  What had it been between us?

  Was it really what we claimed it was?

   

  I look at your face,

  Cold. . . . Stern,

  As if I was the culprit,

  Why? I fail to understand,

  Despite the million sorrys I begged,

  Despite the million times, I tried to make it up,

  I recall,

  How you threw me out of your life,

  And my head tells me to turn around,

  I obey,

  And then, you are gone,

  Inside me, I crib,

  What if I had gone and uttered something,

  What to say, I know not. .

   

   Now when everything is over,

  I just remember one thing of all,

  I had loved you,

  The most of all,

  The most purely of all,

  If only you could have understood,

  My love never desired your presence,

  Just a feeling, that you were there,

  We could have been apart forever,

  Yet always together,

  But you chose it the other way,

  And that was the most ruthless of all,

  And that’s what tells my head,

  To stand up for myself, my heart,

  And to hate you and throw you out of my life. .

   

  Now that everything is over,

  I fail to believe, I fail to understand,

  Was it really love between us?

  Do I still h
ave love for you in my heart?

  I don't know, and I don't wanna know,

  All I know, I want

  ,Is to move on,

   

  Every time I see you,

  My head and heart are at war,

  So please stay away from my sight,

  And allow me to re-live my life. .

  *****

  I Still Love You

  I’m yours,

  To you, I belong,

  Yeah I surrender,

  My love never died,

  I tried to veil it though,

  But it never ceased to exist,

  It kept nurturing,

  Subtle.... Hidden in the veil of hate,

  Coz I wanted to hate you,

  To feel strong,

  For every wrong you did to me,

  I tried and I tried harder,

  To hate you from the core of my heart,

  How cheerful those words sounded,

  Move On,

  But maybe it doesn't go that way,

  For love, there's no moving on,

  It never happened,

  Love conquered hate,

  It doesn't matter if you're mine,

  It doesn't matter if you hate me,

  My love will never die out,

  Never, till eternity,

  Not even if I want it to,

  But such is the might of love,

   

  To me you were and will always be, the same you,

  The you who understood me the best,

  The you who never asked me,

  To change an inch of myself,

  The you who's being around,

  Made my life another paradise,

  And most of it,

  The you who loved me,

   

   Circumstances cannot dilute love,

  I love,

  Because I love,

  Because my love is my domain,

  Because you were and will continue to be,

  The most special being in the existence,

  And I love with this knowledge,

  That we cannot be together again,

  That you won't come back,

  But that doesn't change anything.

   

  Oh yeah I love you,

  How much I cannot tell,

  Words are too petite,

  To describe what I feel for you,

  But maybe this should give you an idea,

  That " I still love you" ...

  *****

  The Friendship That Was

  I wanna be your silent friend,

  I wanna be there for you,

  It does not matter,

  If we meet,

  It does not matter,

  If we talk,

  I wanna be someone you can come back to,

  Sharing your heart out,

  And trust me I’ll be there,

  This is our last year together

  Or should I say the last few months together,

  And then we do part,

  Our paths diverge into our own worlds,

  Your orkut profile says,

  "Agar dekhni hai meri udaan, to aasmaan ko kaho thoda aur uncha ho jaye"

  Soon it'll be time for you and me to fly unto your seamless horizons,

  And then many years ahead on the timeline,

  One day when I look back on time

  And recall a friend,

  A really sweet girl,

  With an amazing dress sense,

  The best dancing skills I had seen so far,

  A mesmerizing smile always there to dazzle,

  A girl who was, Punjabiyat personified,

  The "Don't mess with me" girl

  But most importantly a very dear friend,

  Whom I could trust,

  Who was always there to correct me,

  A friend who truly matched the definition of a friend,

  And it will be then that you'll return,

  As a timeless memory in the heart,

  And a tear rolling down the cheek,

  I will be there for you even then....

  Thanks for being there in my life...

  *****

  The Journey towards Truth

  Alone did I start,

  Unarmed, Unaware,

  Uncleared doubts, Unanswered questions, Unsolved mysteries blotting my mind.